Still my SOMEBODY

Happiness is subjective and as for me, I can only be happy if I I'm with my Yshi, know that she's okay and blissful too; if my family are all right; and if he finally gets to decide what he wants.

We have always been fighting, like always. Some may say that it's just normal since we're already over with the honeymoon phase. Well, I say, ours is different and I'm almost tired of it.

We are the most incompatible couple ever, or are we still couple or have we ever been couple? His idea of family, life and future is poles apart from mine. It breaks my heart because I’ve toiled so hard to make the US work and I've toiled harder to make US work forever. If we're not going to make it through, I do not want another day or any moment with him anymore because it will just make me lament a decade of my life. I'd rather spend it looking for the right one.

Love is commitment, understanding, forgiveness, trust, never self righteous, kindness and patience. But our love is only commitment and nothing else. Well, not really our love is commitment, doubt, misunderstanding, anger, vengeance, doubt, selfishness, rudeness and cruelty. Is this what that decade of knowing each other made us? We’ve aged too much but we’ve never grown up worst is we’ve grown away of each other.

I just want to feel valued. Is that too much to ask? I know I have had my shares of mistake too and I’m trying hard to change myself, to accept him for what he is but maybe it was not hard enough.

I remembered my favorite song…

I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate detailsSomeone who'll stand by my side and give me supportAnd in return she'll get my supportShe will listen to me when I want to speakAbout the world we live in and life in generlThough my views may be wrong, they may even be pervertedShe'll hear me out, and won't easily be convertedTo my way of thinking in fact she'll often disagreeBut at the end of it all she will understand meI want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breathSomeone who'll help me see things in a different lightAll the things I detest I will almost likeI don't want to be tied to anyone's stringsI'm carefully trying to steer clear of those thingsBut when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me, kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this I'll get away with itaaOoh ohhOohAahAfter all, I still want that somebody. I still want him to be that somebody.